Meet the P[eri]nts!

I had my first appointment/consult with a Perinatologist this morning (maternal/fetal medicine specialist) to discuss having a cerclage placed this pregnancy because of an IC (incompetent cervix). After losing baby E. the way we did, I'm really pushing for this and I don't think I would take no for an answer. It really goes without saying that this is something I've really been stressing over, which I know is not good for little Pen, but I'm trying.

First off, the drive that was supposed to take me about an hour and a half pretty much ended up taking me three, so I'm glad that I left extra early. I just hate driving here. Hate it, hate it. I wont go so far as to say I was excellent at directions when we were in California, but I really had it easier than this. There's something about these states (include Texas here) that makes driving impossible for a California-transplant, and it doesn't help any that I have no idea what freeway is what. I have to re-learn everything. Back home, I-680 (double check - can't get to San Jose without it), CA-4 (check), CA-242 (check), you name it, I at least could get there with little trouble. Now I'm looking at VA-172 (where the heck did the V come from), I-64, I-95. I feel like I entered the Twilight zone (heehee - i said twilight). OK, so this went off into a ramble I didn't mean to get into, but I did get there in one piece, and the drive home was much, much better!

But it wasn't my only wait. They were a touch busy when I got there, even with an nice and early morning appointment I ended up waiting about an hour. Waiting does not help my anxiety levels at all, let me just tell you that. I just don't know what to think. I was so frustrated, even though waiting usually means a nice, thorough appointment right? Well, thorough wasn't exactly what I was greeted with right away. The Doctor (Dr. T for future reference) was pretty abrasive I guess you could say, as a first impression. She asked me if I was there to talk about a cerclage (duh) and then went on to ask me if I have been pregnant before. Shouldn't that be on my damn chart? Is it really that hard to look at my medical history, or what? Yes, I have. We lost our last pregnancy at 20 weeks due to an IC (although we don't know what led to what: IC that caused PTL/PROM, or PRL/PROM that caused cervical changes). I just wasn't impressed with her to begin with, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. We all have our off days, and I know I wasn't a happy camper which can always tilt things in the bad-Bad-BAD category. Luckily for both of us, things did get better - meaning her attitude and the possibility of why I was there.

She did a very quick ultrasound, which was great. I didn't think I would be getting to see little Pen again, even if it was for so brief of a time. S/he was bouncing around like a crazy little jumping bean! But I'm not kidding when I say it was over before I really knew what was going on. She was pretty silent through most of the beginning of the appointment, but it was such a relief when she told me "I do think a cerclage is a good idea". As it turns out, my cervix is measuring just over 3 cm (although she did point out that this early in the game it isn't too reliable), but when she did a manual exam she said it felt less than that.

But this means I am getting the cerclage. She wanted to get it in before 14 weeks, but I got a call later this afternoon and it's scheduled for the morning of Monday the 17th (just about 14 weeks on the nose).

But what saved the appointment was that she really took time to answer my questions, and I will admit, I had quite a list. I ask questions when I'm nervous, and I don't think it's possible to ask too many about this right now. Will I be on bedrest afterwards? No, not right off the bat, although I could end up on it. But the fact that we're doing a preventive cerclage could lessen that chance. How often will I be back to see her? Normally she would do every 2 weeks, but because of the distance it will be every 4 unless otherwise necessary, but it will be 2 weeks and I see my OB, 2 weeks and I see my Peri, 2 weeks I see my OB, etc. Sex & travel were two important questions to me. Well, one was for DH. I haven't really been in any mood to DTD lately myself. DH isn't too happy about me being on lockdown (nope, no sex, no O either - it can spur contractions - and we want to keep the risk of infection to a minimum). She didn't completely exclude travel, although after 16/17 weeks she'd prefer we not stray too far from home. But I am interested in going home for Thanksgiving,and she OK'ed that as long as I'm comfortable with the decision. That's really weighing on me. I had flown to Texas not more than a week before we lost Emerson for DH's graduation from BMT. I can't help but think things would have turned out differently if I hadn't. But she thinks for a flight, the sooner the better, and we're only a few weeks away. I'll have to talk to Rob about it. Christmas is pretty much out of the picture, and I really need my family - and it would kind of force my hand in telling them I'm pregnant again, which I've been putting off, and putting off.

I lost my train of thought ... And I congratulate anyone who read this far.

To keep with the symptoms of my can't-mention-anything-without-bringing-Twilight-into-it fever, I did have to ask about going to the midnight premiere since she wants me on limited activity for the week after the surgery. She laughed at me, but in a good way ;) Guess who's read the books? Way to go, Dr. T.! But I have the green light for that, thank goodness!

I have taken up way too much of anyone's time who has read this. I'll update more about it over the next week and change, and I'll keep you updated on what goes on after the surgery. I need to find some other cerclage mamas and see what I'm really in for.